Don't Be A Baby/Script
*(The episode fades in to a picture of a younger Dee Dee holding a rattle) *'Mom:' Aw, how precious! *(A picture of a pregnant Mom is shown with Dee Dee looking at her stomach) *'Dad:' Hey, look. There's you pregnant with Dexter. *(A picture of Dexter eating spaghetti while sitting in a high chair is shown) *'Mom:' Aw, his first spaghetti dinner... *(A picture of Dexter and Dee Dee in the bathtub is shown; Dee Dee is seen touching Dexter with her fist; Dexter is shown crying) *'Dad:' A-dorable! *(He closes the photo album) *'Dad:' Ah... Isn't life grand? *'Mom:' Mm-hmm. *(Dexter and Dee Dee's footsteps are heard; they enter the living room; Dee Dee is seen holding a poster) *'Dexter & Dee Dee:' Mom! Dad! Can we have some money to see a movie? *'Dad:' What? *'Dexter:' Now, I know you two have fallen a bit behind the times, but opening today is a very important work of cinema. *(Dee Dee flips the poster around showing a feature film) *'Dexter:' Violancesic: Robot Vigilante! *(The entire poster is shown) *'Dad:' Hmm. I'm sorry kids, but Violance is too violent and mature for you two. *'Dexter:' What? Absurd! *'Dad:' But I'll tell you what, you can see it when you're older than your mother and I! *(He winks at the kids; Mom winks at him) *'Dexter:' *voice-over* Hmm, that shouldn't be too much of a problem. *out loud* Okay, you win. You're the parents. *'Dad:' Well, I'm glad to hear it's finally sunk in! Ha ha ha ha! *(No response) *'Dad:' Uh, kids? *(The camera pulls back to reveal that Dexter and Dee Dee are gone; Mom and Dad look at each other and a question mark appears over their heads) *'Dee Dee:' What now? *'Dexter:' Simple, my dear Dee Dee. To the lab! *(In the lab, Dexter and Dee Dee are seen standing in front of the Accelor-Ager) *'Dexter:' Behold, the Accelor-Ager! *(A computer monitor is shown with Dexter and Dee Dee's future selves being shown) *'Dexter:' I will set the resulting ages over the hill. *(Dexter is looking at his watch) *'Dexter:' All right, let's get this over with. I don't want to miss the matinee. *(He and Dee Dee walk by an outlet with several signs plastered on the wall; Dexter walks to the other side of the cords and stops Dee Dee with the palm of his hand) *'Dexter:' Dee Dee, please use the utmost caution in proceeding to step over these wires. *'Dee Dee:' Okay. *(She steps on the cords, causing the plugs to unplug from their outlets; she looks at them) *'Dee Dee:' Oops. Whatever. *'Dexter:' Come on, Dee Dee! *(Dee Dee picks the plugs up and puts them back in the socket with the wires twisted) *'Dee Dee:' All ready! *(She steps inside the Acceler-Ager with Dexter and it starts up; the invention sends shockwaves outside of the house; a dog is transformed into a puppy; a man and a woman are both turned into babies; a girl skipping rope is also turned into a baby; back inside the lab, the doors to the Acceler-Ager open; Dexter and Dee Dee are the same) *'Dee Dee:' Hey, I don't feel any older. *'Dexter:' There seems to have been a slight malfunction. I'll just need to make a few adjustments. Probably just needs a good lube job. *(He walks past Monkey's cage; Monkey is shown to be wearing a diaper and sucking his thumb) *'Dexter:' Hello, baby Monkey. Now where did I put that big ol' wrench? *(He realizes what he just said) *'Dexter:' Baby Monkey?!? Einstein's ghost! What has happened? Computer, what the heck is going on? *'Computer:' *baby talk* *'Dexter:' Hmm, yes, pee-pee... Computer?! You too?! Oh, no! That could only mean one thing! Everyone in the world has been turned into... *(He runs into the living room to find his mother and father as babies) *'Dexter:' Eep! Babies, babies, babies! *(He faints; Dee Dee leans in from the right) *'Dee Dee:' Dexter, what's the matter? *(She looks at Mom and Dad) *'Dee Dee:' Oh, my golly! They're so cute! *(She gives the infants a hug) *'Dexter:' I cannot believe that Mom and Dad are babies. What a mess I made. But wait, we are still older than they are! Maybe I can still catch the flick. *'Dee Dee:' Dexter, you're not leaving me to take care of Mom and Dad! This is your fault! You're not going anywhere until the Acceler-Ager is fixed! Now you get back into that laboratory and fix, fix, fix! *'Dexter:' But I want to help take care of the babies too. *'Dee Dee:' Nonsense. Boys don't know how to take care of children. *'Dexter:' Yes, we do. Watch. Let me hold Mom. *'Dee Dee:' Well, okay, here. *(She passes Mom to Dexter, but ends up sliding out of her hands; Mom starts crying; Dee Dee looks at Dexter angrily) *'Dexter:' *nervous chuckle* I'm gonna fix the thing. *(He bolts off to the right; later, Dee Dee is tending to Mom while she still cries) *'Dee Dee:' Aw, there, there. Baby want her bottle? That's better. *(Dad walks in) *'Dee Dee:' Hi, Dad. *(Dad hits Mom, knocking the bottle out of her mouth; Mom resumes crying) *'Dee Dee:' Aw, don't cry. Here's your pacifier. *(She sticks the pacifier inside Mom's mouth) *'Dee Dee:' That's better. Dad, you come here and apologize to Mom right now! *(Dad walks in with a sad look on his face) *'Dee Dee:' Well? *(Dad hits Mom again) *'Dee Dee:' Dad, stop being a stinker! *(She sniffs the air and makes a wrinkled face) *'Dee Dee:' Ew, speaking of stinky... *(She lays Dad down) *'Dee Dee:' Time to change your diaper. *(She pulls off the smelly diaper and drops it on the floor; Dad is seen laying on the floor; Dee Dee is seen putting the diaper back together) *'Dee Dee:' That's better. Now a little powder... *(She coats Dad in baby powder; he coughs) *'Dee Dee:' All done. I think it's time for nappy-bye. *A melody starts playing, she sings to it* ♫Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Go to sleep, Mommy and Daddy. Go to sleep. Go to-...♫ *(She starts snoring; in the lab, Dexter is seen working on the Acceler-Ager) *'Dexter:' Work, and work, and work. That's all I ever do. While she just plays with the kids all day, what a world! *(At the entrance; Mom and Dad enter the lab; Dad eyes a machine; Mom is shown riding on a conveyer belt, she claps and laughs in excitement; two water jets spray her, and she starts crying; a claw picks Mom up and a metal hand spanks her; two plungers extend her head, and a small hex drill spins her whole body around; Dad is shown at the control panel messing with the buttons and the lever; a dazed Mom lands in the trash can; Dad walks over to and hits her) *(In the living room; Dee Dee is sleeping on the couch; she suddenly wakes up) *'Dee Dee:' Babies? Babies? Babies?! *(She goes and looks for them) *'Dee Dee:' Come out, come out, wherever you are! *(In the kitchen; Dee Dee looks in a cookie jar, and then inside a cookbook) *'Dee Dee:' Dad, where are you? Mom? *(She places her hands on her head with worry; back in the lab, Dexter is seen finishing the bolt; sweat is pouring down his head) *'Dexter:' One more should do it. *(He struggles, and his successful) *'Dexter:' All fixed. *(Dee Dee barges into the lab) *'Dee Dee:' Dexter, I lost Mom and Dad! *'Dexter:' You lost the babies? *He hits Dee Dee with the wrench* You lunkhead, can't you do anything right? Well, don't just stand there, help me find them! *(A map of the house is shown; Dexter is seen crossing out "Parent's Room") *'Dexter:' Well, we have systematically checked every place in the house except... my bedroom! *(He and Dee Dee run to Dexter's bedroom to find Mom and Dad on the bed sleeping together) *'Dexter & Dee Dee:' Aw... Shh! *(They sneak into the lab and activate the Acceler-Ager; everything is reversed; back in the bedroom; Dad wakes up) *'Dad:' Ah, what a good night's sleep! I feel great! What say we get a babysitter and go see a movie tonight? *(Pull back to show Mom with messy hair, bloodshot eyes, and baggy eyelids) *'Mom:' I don't feel so good... *(Iris cut to black) Category:Transcripts Category:Season 2 transcripts